This song, the second I heard it, made my heart ache… I could feel that it was telling me a story, even without words… I don’t think I will be able to do it justice, but this is the story I think I heard…
There was once a little girl, who lived at an orphanage. She had been merely the age of 3 when she had been abandoned by her family. She had been too young to remember much of what had happened, except that once her baby brother had been born, it had been as though she no longer existed, and one day, they all went out to enjoy the spring festival, during which her mother left her hand for a second to wrap her baby brother up tighter, only to find minutes later that she was lost, and her mother had moved on..
As she grew up, for lack of a story as interesting as all the other children at the orphanage, she made up her own. She told them that her mother had loved her brother more than her, and so she had planned to leave her at the festival, because she no longer had any reason to keep her. As time passed, she started believing this story, and so a feeling of pain and hurt built up in her heart. On the other hand, she often dreamt of a better life, getting back her loving mother, a life without her baby brother, who stole her mother from her..
She often found herself crying as she sat at the corner of her bed, wondering why she wasn’t as lovable as her brother, what she had done to deserve this..
Then, one day, the head of the orphanage called her to her office. That usually meant that someone was here to take her. She silently prayed that it was her real mommy . Her eyes shined as she thought of all she had dreamt of, and that her dreams were about to come true. She could not believe it was finally happening! She would finally have a family, and a mother who loved her unconditionally!
So, she scrubbed all the dirt off her face, and wore the prettiest little dress that had come her way. It was white in colour, with red lace at the hem and the sleeves. She added a beautiful red ribbon in her glorious brown hair and felt like a princess.
She ran all the way to the head’s office, feeling like her little heart would jump right out of her chest with excitement! She slowed down a little, as she approached the office, and politely knocked on the door.
She heard a kind voice call her in, so she opened the door. As she stepped in, she saw the head sitting at her desk, with a kind looking woman sitting across from her. She was dressed rather formally, in a pant suit. She wore a pair of round rimmed glasses and pearl earrings. She asked her to come sit on the chair beside her.
As she sat down, she thought to herself, “Is this my new mommy? Well, she’s pretty, I hope I look nice, I want her to like me right away!”
The head turned to the little girl and said, ” Hello child, how are you feeling today?”
She thought about that for a mere second, “Wonderful.” She wanted to impress her new mother, wanted to show her that she was a perfect little girl.
“This is Dr. Taylor. She has been over your reports from the monthly health examination, and she has some news for you..”
“Oh.. Well, What is it?” The little girl felt somewhat uncomfortable in her chair now.
“I.. Umm.. We found your parents.. Your real parents..” The doctor said. This wasn’t entirely unheard of… Every now and then, the hospital would find the biological parents from DNA testing, but it was somewhat rare.
The little girl didn’t know what to say, and it looked like the doctor had something more to add, but she looked a little reluctant to do so..
“There’s more… We went to see your parents… But we found that they had a terrible accident, and passed away on the spot..” The doctor would not look at the little girl directly. She was completely heart broken..How could you tell a child something like this and not die a little inside?
The little girl just stared at her, as though she could not comprehend what she had just been told… Eventually, it hit her.. She felt all her dreams shatter in front of her eyes, like the most fragile of mirrors, and she could see her own reflection in every piece, just as shattered.. That is when she decided, that no one was ever going to come looking for her, to take her home.. not her old mother, and certainly not a new one, because this was her fate…
She ran back to her room, and curled into a ball, and cried. She cried for hours and hours, until her eyes could no longer take it..and then she slept… She never woke up from that sleep… Because all this time, as she prayed to get her mommy back, she also prayed that if she couldn’t, that she didn’t have a reason to live, that she be taken away from all that false hope… And so, one of her wishes came to be..
That’s what I think I heard.. You can listen to it ans see if you hear it too..
Cristofori’s Dream – David Lanz
P.S. turns out, I heard a different version than the link above.. but I can’t seem to find the one I heard so this will have to do…=[